The Last month of 2025

Hi Me,

How are you doing there?

How's everything there? 

It's been ages u havent write something here. Supposed that life treating you well.

How's the heart?  

Thought of YOU

 

How Can I, 

Forget you, if you are

My First Crush,
My First Love.

How can I, 

Not in love with you?

When you make me awe, 

By seeing you beautiful eyes

Some says fallin' in love is the crazy things.

That happen to me when I saw you.

From you I learnt how to love.

How to keep low-key in love

Being in love with you is one of kind

As I bend to look at you as a man.

Years gone by, 

The worlds keep on moving

As the age is fly

Adoring you is continuing

Never regrets to have you in my dreams

You are my inspirations

Above of all

You made me stronger facing the world

Losing you, make my heart broken

In to pieces,

My world suddenly darken as never be

I can't seeing you vanished

But reminds me of you

I keep my love for you

Never be vanished nor

Disapear 

Here's the songs for You - make my life stronger 

and have faith of it. 

No one needs you more than I need you

You're the meaning in my life

You're the inspiration

You bring feeling to my life

You're the inspiration

When you love somebody

(Till the end of time)

When you love somebody

(Always on my mind)

No one needs you more than I

When you love somebody

(Till the end of time)

 

Broken-Hearted

 

Dear my Love Jason, 

As I write down this message, I still couldnt believe what happen to you. 

You make me feel shocks in deep and down here.

I never know this day is coming. Never did I know, You chose that kind of ways, to end up your life.

I didnt hold my tears.

I shaken my head, when I saw the news. It cant be true!

I thought you'd happy there. 

I thought you'd survived with your family there. 

why?

why?

why?

I just knew that you had divorced, already. 

And struggled with mental health issues and depression.    

  

I am so shocked, J !!!!

It has shocked and saddened me beyond belief. 

Despite of terribly losing you, I hope that you are in peace now. I hope you can meet your mom and brother, Eric. 

You left a hole in my heart, J!  But I will always love you.

REST IN PEACE and LOVE 

Jason David Frank (September 4, 1973 – November 19, 2022) was an American actor and martial artist. He was known for his role as Tommy Oliver in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and other Power Rangers series.

Dearest Me

Now you are getting older. By number you are entering 42 years. What's a number, isnt it? 

Happy Birthday!

Welcome to the new age!

Where's the age is not just a number, but it's contains more mature, wise, wealth and happiness. 

NUMB

Do you know what numb is?

Numb, is when you can't feel about something. ( well, that's on my thought.)

I felt numb,
Because at first, I feel, I want it.

At first I really want it, 
Then I want to have it, 

Then, I am looking way to have it.
But then, because of the long time for the process.

Make me realize, It seems I had no rights to have it.
At first, you are on the mood. 
Then, something make me feel bad.

And all just gone, my heart feel numb for it.
Instantly, I cried. 

So bad, it's hurt me.
I convinced myself, maybe it isnt for me.

So, I should feel OK. Be patient. 

 

Maybe, I will have another one, in other day.

Finger crossed - for me! 

 

I CAN (NOT) BE ENVY!

 I can not be envy, why?

Why I can not be envy? 

Its a sin. In my religion, we can not be envy. 

............

I want to buy shoes

I want to have new bags

I want to have new clothes

Just like the others.

Who got their own money.

I want to buy something "expensive" to my children. 

I want to bring them somewhere that "fancy" and become memories.

With my own money. 

I need something that I can be proud of

I want to have something from what I have on my own. 

I feel so shy to ask hubby

I feel bad if I spend some of it for my self. 

Eventho, I have the rights for it. 

And he keeps telling me for it. 

But I always feel envy looking at my friends who got their own. 

They keep saying, I bought with my own.

Sounds happy and satisfy for it.

Most of all, if I buy shoes, 

Buy new bags, 

Order some new clothes,

Where can I wear all of them?

I didnt go for work. 

I stayed at home. 

I only pick-up the children from school. 

or going for grocery. 

Not much time to meet my friends. 

That's why, I keep on these in my heart and tears.

To dreams of it. 

No Envy matters, because I will not using all kind of stuff even I buy it all. 

Yesterday, I HATE MONDAY but now, I LOVE MONDAY

Hi All, 

Its been awhile I haven't write up something here.

So many words to type and so many things to share about. 😁

Today is 28th of November. One month until New Year 2021.

I am getting old, indeed. haha

Hm, I wanna write about the title. 

I used to "Hate" Monday, when I was working, and until few years after I stayed at home. 

When I stayed home, I didnt literally hate Monday. But just how I feel the same thing that happen everyday, regular things to do. You know, that home chores and stuff. incl preparing children and etc.

But in past few months I didnt feel more comfortable for the weekend. I am so tired. The schedule for weekend is visiting -in law house. I didnt do anything there. just having a chit chat. nothing special. and am in boredom. Children will be happy of having meet-up with their cousins. And husband will delightful to meet his mom and siblings also, nephews and in-laws. 

I wish I can say no to go there. But It wont be polite, for sure. 

Who will taking care of my children, there. What the in-laws says bout me, then. The thing, is what I'm doing there is just the same what I do at home. 

Maybe I am in boredom stage now. Just tired. I wanna go somewhere. But I can not. 

I am thinking of my family. I wanna have some me-time here, but I cannot. Well, I try to have some in mid-of the night. watching some chi-short movie in IG, looking for some idea to write about.

But it cause me -drained.