Inside of (my) Room

STORY OF the MAN >>
I'm not feeling well since last week.. i have a very bad illness.. i cant stand by my self.. i need somebody to help to lifting my body from lying down on my bed.. hiks.. very patathic, indeed, while am here just enjoyin my self being love with 2 girls that i never had before [ of course, one is my trully girlfriend. that i'd known when we're in college..]..

Honestly, i dont wanna loose the two of them.. at least not now.. i really love spending times with Candy.. i love to hang out with her.. i really can found and do somethin that i can no dot while am with Honey.
Candy really treats me good.. she really care and attention at me.. she just like my "girlfriend".. if i can make everythin is easy as a thought, i'd love to have Candy as my Girlfriend toom beside Honey.
Candy always ask me can i choose between her and Honey? and surely i CAN NOT do that. Since i HAVE NO reason to get separate with Honey.

Honey and I were a great match. eventho, its only once a week we met and having a date, but it doesnt mean that i didnt love her anymore.. not at all..! it just sometime i feel lonely at nite, i need someone affections and i'd like to share my days and thought, of course all the affection and all the lust of hugging and kissing some one.. that it's really hard to get "directly" from Honey.. [she lives in another city, and i shud go there first, that sometimes i really feel tired .. thats why i always take a day to go to meet here at the weekend..]
The attention and the sweet responds only comes from this young loveable Candy..

This is like a public affair, aite? well, honestly i can not say that harshly.. !cus for me isnt an "affair".. i see her as my bestfriend.. my close friend.. we really share thought and she really can change me into a better person, that i never be,before.. he keep encourage me in evrythin.. he can make me feel jealous too.. she and i really stick on our mind that, we are a truly best "friend" .. eventhou, i really wants to have her too..!!! but WHAT CAN I DO ? since i have Honey, already. [ I know sometimes Candy, really hates me and feel jealous of what am doin with my Honey..] and i dont wanna loose her,cuz am thinkin if someday we really in bound and then somethin happen to our relationship, that can make us separated.. we can be so like enemy.. we hate each other.. hiks..!! nope i dont wanna loose her, in that way!!! i really NEED HER..!!

Sounds that i get selfish, to KEEP her with Honey in the same time..without giving her the real status .. at work, i keep "showing" to the colleagues that she's my GIRLFRIEND.. a bit hurt perhaps, but i do it for her..!so, at work, we are the real couple instead of havin affair..! is it good the alibi that i made, eh? shit!!! i'd created a big sin here!
[owh dear GOD, I NEED your help here.. !! ] ya know, that i dont wanna havin life like this, but somehow.. i cant denied all the "fun" that created.. !!

Last Saturday, all the angels just came to my room.. they just spending times wit me, we share lauff and love.. [ thsi is the 1st time, My Candy meet my Honey. i know Candy will be okay, since she's a great and coolest girl that i've known.
..aaaah I wish I can hold my Candy's body tight..!! i'm so miss her..!! it's been a few weeks we didnt met each other..!! i just give her my best winks and smiles eheheh [ uh Baby, i wish you know how i miss to hold your body here.. iam longin for our times before..]

i will leave my Candy again for anither 3 weeks .. am doin my medical treatment somewhere.. and again am goin to miss her terribly... does she ever miss me like i do??
I Love Honey and greatest of all for Candy !! I WISH I COULD "CHOOSE" one OF THEM.. !!

STORY OF the GIRL>>
dear GOD, i dunno what i feel inside.. is it jealousy or somethin.. hiks.. i really cant understand why i shud having this relationship.
I really miss him, badly.. i really care of him alot.. but somehow, i CAN NOT saying that I'm Fallen in Love with him.. nopes!! Since I'm NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND (yet..??) we're just state that we;re a good friend.. a nice and close one.. we really share everythin ..we're supporting each other.. !

and again, i cant ask him for more.. since he has a gf already.. hiks. why he cant make up his mind to choose between me and his Honey..?

hmm sounds that we're really havin affair, but i keep inside this feeling and try to denied that we're not havin affair..!! sometimes I HATE HIM!!!

once, i asked if i might be his gf.. but his responds was like shit .. he said that he cant or he couldnt decided directly.. since he didnt have any reason to get broke up with his gf, there..
and i was like, "waiting" hoping that there will be a magic wud comes arrive..

I always ask GOD, what was happen here.. i really need someone that can be here next to me.. and someone that really i can be my life partner.. someone that really BELONGS TO ME, ONLY!!!! someone that i can say "legally" I LOVE HIM, MISS HIM, NEED HIM, ADORE HIM..

actually i always try to "stop" this relationship, but HE ALWAYS NEGLECTED and said that we can run thsi relationship.. hrmp!! he doesnt want to "broke up " with me!!
i'm thinkin that u shud get someone new here..

by meeting with his gf, was made me uneasy actually. but somehow, since i like to make a friends.. so i keep denied my heart that i feel that way.. hiks

.. and then the next other day, i feel numb with this man..
is that mean that i begin to reject him in my life?
is that mean, that i didnt care of him anymore?
is that mean, that we are now really separates..?

GOD please lead me the way..! if really nice and good for me, please give some clues.. negatively, please keep away him from me.. !

>> what shud i do, now..??