Inside of (my) Room

Dear Diary,

In very short days I will have A religion trips to the United Emirate Arab, for Umroh.
Isnt the Hajj Pilgrims yet, but u can also call it with a " 'lil Hajj.."
I will go for about 10 days or so.. Will depart from Jakarta, Ina on Sunday July 2 before lunch time, and hopefully will arrive back to Jakarta on Wed 12.

Gosh, certainly I will miss someone that really closed with me.
I really hope when the times I back here, he can certainly make decision, a real important decision about our relationship. " Honey, with all my deepest love and care feeling, pls make up your mind, what can we do with this relationship. Pls make sure about it.

I wanna be the one. Yes, honey.. If I can make decision and if I can ask you, would I be the only one who have your heart here..??
right now, am giving you time to let you make that decision there.. I never mean to hurt you to choose something, but all I wanna know, is it we belongs together or not.. "

hmm one more thing honey, I want you to know

If I say that I really miss you,
It means that I do miss you

If I say that I really care of you,
It means cuz I do care of you

If I say that I wanna spend my times with you,
It means that I wish I have lots times with you..

If I say that I enjoy our times,
It means that I love being hugged and kissed

If I say that please don't hurt me
It means that I don't wanna you to leave me

If I say that I trust you,
It means that I give them all to you

If I say that you know what you shud do
It means that I know u can do it..

If I say that you can share everything to me
It means that you really can share anything to me

If I say that I can be your friend of the best,
It means that you can count in me for the rest

If I say that I really afraid if you forget bout me
It means that I don't wanna be separates with you

If I say that all the inspirations comes from you
It means that you really meant a lot to me..

I really hope, you and I have same perceptions bout this relationship honey.. I can't let you go like that.. are you really dare to let me go down the hall alone ..? I know that you wouldn't ever do, am I right?

I'm waiting for a good and nice answer and explanation soon when I come back from the journey.
I will always love you, Either if we're not belongs together.. we know Love doesn't always belongs to each other. I will keep all of our moments that we had, I will always remember that, honey.
-fin-

WAIT FOR ME until THAT DAY Yaaaaa..
damn, I'd already miss you, when I type down this words, here..

How can I mend this feeling ya ..
What shud I do, when I miss you there..
What can I do when I miss you there..
Do you'll miss me, honey?
Do you'll stand for not miss me, honey?