Inside of (my) Room

See How He treats me..

Listen : "World Play" by Jason Mraz

Dear Brothers,
I am so damn fuckin sorry for "not" listening your words to me.. I know am such a loser or something for this world.
Life has showed me the real kind of world that I am lived in.Need some struggle, patient and determined..

My World,
Hush.. hush.. don't get me rush
Push .. push don't get me blush

With this young man, I thought that we can be agood friend or something, well maybe he still my friend indeed.

Thought today we can meet each other and do something together, since we haven't have a good time for it - this wuld be the first time for him to recognized me- but seems that he already feels "terrifies" of me- I mean by looking what I really wear. On the phone he keeps asking me how do I wear, cuz he likes some kind of girlie style that isnt me at all!!!!

I refused when he said that I have to wear some baby-pink-shirt with jeans on the hip, wearing a white flat-pointed-shoe or some kinda Ballet shoe, then bring a clutch bag also with that pony tail - hair.

Meanwhile I like wearin a black/navy blue/white/grey t-shirt- well not a"free size" type , just the one who fit my body, with a bootcut jeans with canvas shoe and no clutch bag only a waist bag- yea just a sporty look.. err..of course with a short cut hair..! =D

Arg.. once crossed my mind, maybe I can change or make a lil change bout the look. Maybe I am too tomboy, and yea I do need something in this age.. maybe with him I can be someone better without change my personality that much.. so, I can start to "listened" and try to tolerate with that girlie stuff.

Ya wanna know what he done to me - today-?
Yesteday he said that he will try to pick me at my friend house., but until the time Im ready to get back home, there's no news from him, that he will come to get me or something else. Actually I try to called him, but seems that he ran away…
his sister said that he left the crib since morning..Ha!!That lil rooster just run away from me.. ahahaha!!

Why I feel that he feels scared of me, maybe on his mind I was look like a boy- I mean a real tomboy girl.. in fact am not, puh-lease! He's afraid of meeting a fat-tomboy- girl.. ha! Until now, he doesn't even call me to say something about it.And it's clear now, that he isnt the one for me.. he tries to make a good impression of me, but seems it was failed-again- when I said that I have Indians' stuff at my room. Such a chief heads, a dreamcatcher's hanging on the middle of my room and the other stuff.. ehehehe.. he said that by keeping those things in my room its' so scary.. !
blah!! It is not, man!!

So maybe I just distract and giving a bad impression of my self to him..Well, I have no fuckin idea why I should hide those things to someone that I care ..i want someone that really know and could understand me .. love me for who I am.

Now am back to the real me!! Being single isnt probleme at all.. Free to Be Me!!

:: My dear Jason, it's only you who can make this things happen. You're Still The Best!!!
I love you!!! ::